Monday, August 29, 2011

Memories of Mom

Well it's getting a bit dusty over here at KGC Blend. I know there are those of you out there who could be posting but I guess it's up to me to keep this going for now. I realize there was a birthday I neglected to post about. Our mother's birthday was August 9th. For some reason that date seems to sneak past me and I realize it a few days after it's passed by. This year was weird. I sometimes dream about mom. I dream that she is alive and that her cancer has been cured and she is here to give me her love and advise. Then I wake up bummed that it was just a dream.  These dreams are usually few and far between.  For some reason during the week of her birthday I had several successive dreams compounded during the week leading up to August 9th. I'd wake up and think "weird- I had another dream about Mom." Then the thought would leave and I'd go about my busy day. It wasn't until about the 11th or 12th that I realized her birthday had passed again without my thinking about it. Then I realized that my subconscious had been thinking about her all week.  It was weird.  I like to think that maybe she was with me in spirit (at night) all week.  I don't really know this, but it's a nice thought.  I miss her still.

She was a completely selfless person.  She was a great listener and hardly ever talked about herself even though she was most interesting.  She loved all people: poor, unpopular, unloved.  She loved the underdog- so do I.  I still remember the Samoan man who came knocking asking for work.  After she paid him for weeding the yard he mentioned that he was not as good as her.  She told him "not so- God loves you just as much as he loves me, and she gave him a warm hug."  I will never forget it.  I was a young girl at the time, but it struck me deeply.  She never played into that snob hill mentality that was so prevalent in Oak Hills.  She refused to be a part of the sororities in college, even though I am sure they wanted the homecoming queen attendant as a feather in their cap.  She always taught me that "pretty is as pretty does."  I hope to pass that along to my daughters one day.  We live in such a materialistic world where girls are taught that being ornamental is best.  Our mother was a looker, but she was much more than a pretty face.

I wish I had her here to ask about my children.  This parenting job is a tough gig and I am certain most of the time I am getting it wrong.  She could help me with so many things if I could just pick up the phone and call her.  Maybe I need to be more in tune with the spirit so that she can help show me the way.  She's probably shouting advise through her mega phone on the other side of the veil but I have earthly cotton stuck in my ears and can't or won't hear what she would have me do.

Mom would have been 81 last August.  I hope she is well on the other side.  Probably running the nursery still....  Now uncle Bob is with her.  They probably have a lot of catching up to do.  To those who will be attending Bob's funeral this week, if you feel our mother near, say hello for me will you?


PS for those who read this who are unaware, our Uncle Bob Vogel had an accident that lead to him being put on life support.  There was something burnt on the stove and a smoke filled house triggered an asthma attack, which then triggered a heart attack. He was 20 min down before they could re-start his heart but no brain activity remained.  Life support was taken off on Thursday evening at 6:30.  Our prayers are with the Vogels...